an introduction can become an obligation before either person has agreed to it.
someone puts two names in an email, adds a generous compliment, and leaves. now each recipient has to decide whether to reply, how quickly to reply, and whether declining will offend the person who connected them. the introduction may have been kind. it still spent time and trust on behalf of two other people.
i think a useful introduction begins before anyone is copied on a message. it begins with a question asked separately of each person: would this conversation help you, and do you want it?
explain the reason, not the relationship
knowing two people is not enough reason to connect them. tell each one what the other person is trying to understand or accomplish, as far as you have permission to say. explain why their perspectives might meet. leave out the résumé parade and the exaggerated promise that they will change each other's lives.
specificity gives both sides a choice. a founder looking for advice on pricing may value a short conversation with someone who has made that decision. a person with no room for another request may decline. both answers are useful.
do not make one person's private problem the subject line of a stranger's inbox. ask what context can be shared. if the fit requires revealing something they would rather keep private, the introduction needs a different path or no introduction at all.
make the no easy
the first request should be small and honest. describe the purpose, the likely time involved, and whether anyone expects more than one conversation. give the person a clean way to decline without an explanation. silence is also information. do not turn it into permission.
the question matters most when one person has more status than the other. a request from a powerful contact can sound optional while feeling compulsory. make the choice explicit without asking anyone to perform gratitude for being considered.
when both people agree, connect them in a short note that states why they chose to meet. then step back. do not assign a deadline or ask for a report on how the conversation went. if you promised to send a document or make a separate follow-up, do that work yourself.
there is no prize for the number of introductions you make. the test is whether each person could say yes freely, understood why the conversation mattered, and had room to say no.
before you put two names in one message, ask each person if the conversation is worth their time.
